what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
