Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
