Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The air was thick with penises
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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