i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
