i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
