so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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