when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
