There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize