I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
