After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
