Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
