I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
