HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
