The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
