I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
