2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
