Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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