yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
