There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
