where am i from again
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
