What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
