Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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