Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
