ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
