went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
