just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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