you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
40s are totally the cure
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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