we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
