I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
