you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
