For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
