can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
