I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
