Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
