I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just high enough for therapy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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