It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
