I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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