I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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