Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
