She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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