Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
