Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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