STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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