just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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