fuck your aforementioned shoe
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
