I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
