found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
