Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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