They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
