if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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