She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
