we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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