Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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