I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize