make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
