haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
