I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Green mimosas i think yes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
