I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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