K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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