Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
