he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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