Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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